GPOYW - Last Halloween, underaged Chinese gymnast. This Halloween: Misty.

Every girl wants to be slutty for Halloween. I just try to mask it with some semblance of being “current” or “somewhat original”.

7-11 is now selling 99 cent metal straws for their slurpees. The idea of a metal straw and the idea that my significant other bought one makes me unreasonably angry.

vela:

Tonight I get to see this asshole.

WHOA. He got fat and old! I take back what I said last night..

We’re hiring in North Miami!

pantspocket:

How I feel about the taste of Carmex Lip Balm

This is my boyfriend’s face after drinking from a cup that I’ve drank from with my Dr. Pepper lip balm.

(via fuckyeahjanuaryjones

WHOA YEAH!!!!!!

Papa John’s garlic sauce. Enough said.

Carnival took place outside my building yesterday and spanned about 24 blocks or so. I totally did not know this was happening as I took my leisurely morning bike ride so you can only imagine my shock. I seriously must have been the whitest person there.

Thankfully, productivitydecreaser and I had our camera in tow and were able to capture the surprise road-closure and ensuing parade.

Daniel Dae Kim is #1 on m Top 2 Attractive Asian Men list.

John Cho is #2 on my Top 2 Attractive Asian Men list.

WAAAAAHHH

This is either going to be very awesome or completely disastrous.

Single friends, you’re doing it all wrong. The key to the girl/dude’s heart whom you’re crushing on is right under your nose.

Simply treat them to a Cuban espresso (preferably make it yourself) in the middle of the afternoon and watch the magic happen.

The recipient of the espresso will immediately think amazing things of you, even if it’s temporary. During this time, make your move. Thank me later.

My dog is so good-looking it hurts.